LifeQs
Stacey Vanden Heuvel
Stacey Vanden Heuvel
Becoming a mother was more of a challenge for me than for most. I suffered miscarriages which were hard to bear, but made me appreciate the successful pregnancy I had even more. I had pre-eclampsia with my daughter, but we made it through. I had exceptional care for me and my daughter at Olmsted Medical Center. Even though my daughter weighed only 4 lbs., 3 oz., and I had a C-section, we were able to go home after 3 days in the hospital. The care was extraordinary. The follow up care continued to be fantastic...so much so that my daughter would feign illness just to see her pediatrician.
From the day my daughter was born, my husband and I have been in awe of the responsibility it is to raise her. I, more so than he, remain acutely aware of how much I don't know. He believes it will all work out; I worry and plan and protect and question myself a lot. He is probably right, but with all my eggs in one basket so to speak, I feel compelled to check on myself a lot. Am I doing all I can to help this child become an independent and contributing citizen of this world?
I find it interesting how motherhood makes you humble and proud at the same time. I have always been pretty humble. I came from a humble, hardworking family. I have been humbled by how little I know sometimes and how much help I need sometimes. The wonder that this child is though makes it hard for me not to let her shine. I am so proud. My Facebook posts are mostly about her achievements and her amazing self.
My daughter is beautiful inside and out. She cares about others, is creative and a people person, and is active in many activities. Currently she is in band, piano, 4-H, and Taekwondo. She also shows horses as I did when I was young. (She is better than I was though, and that makes me proud, too.). Spending time together with the horse at the barn and at the shows has been a great experience.
My daughter has a learning difference called dyslexia. We had a hard time uncovering it because she didn't flip letters around on paper and she seemed to do well in school. That's what most people think dyslexia is, flipping letters around. She knew she was different long before anyone did, calling it a writing problem. Teachers said she was bright, but was distracted and didn't apply herself. I learned to listen to my child and ask her tons of questions. She knows herself well. Initially it was really tough being a 7th grader with dyslexia. It's still tough being a high school student with dyslexia, but she has learned to advocate for herself with teachers and counselors to get the accommodations she needs. Learning to advocate for herself really came from helping others first; last year she testified before a state senate education committee about her experiences along with several others with dyslexia. The result was the passage of legislation for a formal definition for dyslexia in our public schools. It was a fantastic experience for her and a lesson in how helping others first can yield more for you in return. I am struck by how little I knew and how little most people know about dyslexia. And in my daily life I am grateful for so many inventions and contributions to our way of life by people who are dyslexic. Google "famous dyslexics" and you will get the idea.
I have had the blessing of a number of people (besides her parents) to be active in my daughter's life. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles--some living across the ocean--as well as some young women who may have become extended family for us. They maybe babysat at one stage, provided transportation, or served as a role model and companion. I believe it takes a village, and I so appreciate and love these girls who continue to be part of my daughter's life.
If I ask my daughter what she wishes other people knew about her mom, she says that I am always an advocate for her with her dyslexia, that I expect the best of and for her always, that I support her in her many activities (especially the horseback riding), and that I always listen to her side of the story and value how she feels.
I have a long ways to go on this motherhood journey, and I hope I can always live up to her expectations.
From the day my daughter was born, my husband and I have been in awe of the responsibility it is to raise her. I, more so than he, remain acutely aware of how much I don't know. He believes it will all work out; I worry and plan and protect and question myself a lot. He is probably right, but with all my eggs in one basket so to speak, I feel compelled to check on myself a lot. Am I doing all I can to help this child become an independent and contributing citizen of this world?
I find it interesting how motherhood makes you humble and proud at the same time. I have always been pretty humble. I came from a humble, hardworking family. I have been humbled by how little I know sometimes and how much help I need sometimes. The wonder that this child is though makes it hard for me not to let her shine. I am so proud. My Facebook posts are mostly about her achievements and her amazing self.
My daughter is beautiful inside and out. She cares about others, is creative and a people person, and is active in many activities. Currently she is in band, piano, 4-H, and Taekwondo. She also shows horses as I did when I was young. (She is better than I was though, and that makes me proud, too.). Spending time together with the horse at the barn and at the shows has been a great experience.
My daughter has a learning difference called dyslexia. We had a hard time uncovering it because she didn't flip letters around on paper and she seemed to do well in school. That's what most people think dyslexia is, flipping letters around. She knew she was different long before anyone did, calling it a writing problem. Teachers said she was bright, but was distracted and didn't apply herself. I learned to listen to my child and ask her tons of questions. She knows herself well. Initially it was really tough being a 7th grader with dyslexia. It's still tough being a high school student with dyslexia, but she has learned to advocate for herself with teachers and counselors to get the accommodations she needs. Learning to advocate for herself really came from helping others first; last year she testified before a state senate education committee about her experiences along with several others with dyslexia. The result was the passage of legislation for a formal definition for dyslexia in our public schools. It was a fantastic experience for her and a lesson in how helping others first can yield more for you in return. I am struck by how little I knew and how little most people know about dyslexia. And in my daily life I am grateful for so many inventions and contributions to our way of life by people who are dyslexic. Google "famous dyslexics" and you will get the idea.
I have had the blessing of a number of people (besides her parents) to be active in my daughter's life. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles--some living across the ocean--as well as some young women who may have become extended family for us. They maybe babysat at one stage, provided transportation, or served as a role model and companion. I believe it takes a village, and I so appreciate and love these girls who continue to be part of my daughter's life.
If I ask my daughter what she wishes other people knew about her mom, she says that I am always an advocate for her with her dyslexia, that I expect the best of and for her always, that I support her in her many activities (especially the horseback riding), and that I always listen to her side of the story and value how she feels.
I have a long ways to go on this motherhood journey, and I hope I can always live up to her expectations.