I attempted suicide about 7 times in my life, all within a span of two years. I am a survivor of all of them. I am blessed to be able to say that. Since I was younger, I was always more withdrawn and sadder than the others in my school. I wasn't an unruly child, just a sad one. When I was 8 years old, I was sexually abused by a family friend. After those isolated events when I was 8, I was never the same. It was when I got to college that I started acting on my suicidal thoughts.

Since my last attempt on September 6th, 2016, I've learned that there are people who are decent enough to want to try and stop me from hurting myself. I learned that the world is not all full of evil people. There is good and there is light that I didn't want to see so I could be justified in ending it. Hope is real and recovery is possible. I also learned that I need to learn to open up in spite of the stigma that surrounds people dealing with mental illness. One other thing I took away from this is that if I can't live for myself, I should live for the sake of other people. I matter to others and Depression had me convinced I didn't.

I have not reached the point where I can say I'm recovered but I learn to cope in healthy ways now. It's not easy. Depression is a crushing mental illness to endure all day, every day. Suicide crosses my mind sometimes but I know that it isn't worth it. I have someone out there who needs to hear my story and feel less alone. I am a crisis counselor now and I am helping others through similar plights that plague their minds. It is my hope to continue to share my story with others so that they may find hope and learn to thrive.