November the 17th!! A day I will never forget. When he that murderer took your life he indeed took mines to. I try so hard to find clarity in those moments but how could you when you are a mother that brought that soul into this world! They say time heals all wounds but it seem it's not working for mines! It's been an whole year and I still can't speak on it without crying. It's been a whole year and to have a thought of you and your not hear I can't call you and you pick up the phone and that in itself murders my soul over and over again. I know we are not suppose to question GOD and I must fail this test daily, like how do I not when they say he is nothing but love, like how could he allow my soul to be interrupted in such a way! When it came to God and myself I always thought of our relationship to be some what of kind of special. See I had High expectations when it came to him because he was the almighty and I was his Shay!! Do you see what the devil tried to make me do? Give up on him thou Lord and Savoir. But he was a lie, at the end I tried everything even suicide BUT God! He stepped in. Now Through my heartache and pain I continue to trust his process because I got to be something strong in that army of the LORDS because he tried to make me forfeit my crown. Now I stand still hurt but not angry, still sad but not defeated! I know in my heart my baby wants me to beat this so I put every effort in the fight! And I know that this battle is not mines to fight alone and with GOD all things are possible!