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LifeStory
Barbara June West (wieland, saferite )
Mom/Grandma/Best Friend
- Barbara June West .... She was basically my mother figure bc I was always with her ... Practically lived with her most of my youngster days she was my best friend in life I could sit and talk to her 4 hours and never run out of things to say or talk about ... She was always there for me when no one else was she understood me like no one else ever can or will ... She always had a way with words that made me feel like a was somebody instead of feeling like I was a nobody that didn't matter .. she was the first person that knew I was gay and she said honey it's ok I already knew and she never brought it up in a bad way or looked at me any different for being gay .... I felt so secure and needed when I had her in life ... Then when she past away I became lost ... Like super lost and never found ... Since her passing I have been into drugs really bad ... Mostly just meth and weed which is no surprise to most bc I have been doing drugs since I was 13 years old but I actually got clean once and swore I would never touch drugs again .... But everyone who knows me knew that wasn't going to last .... But these last 13 years she has been gone have been really bad for me ... I have no one I trust to talk to anymore I feel awkward have talks with my dad ever since I told him I was gay it's been wierd having talks with him bc he isn't sure how to take my lifestyle .... He seems ok with it but just doesn't understand why I am the way I am! So I have been lost lost lost and I'll never be found until it's to late ... The drugs are who I turn to when I need to talk or have a problem or just need to get away caught in the high bubble of feeling nothing at all no pain no anything except pure relief when I'm on cloud 26 ... It seems to take the worries and sadness away but on for that 1st hour .... The point of me sharing this is that ... I'm dying and wanted to share my memories of my mom/grandmother and let everyone know how special she was and still is to me ...it's so hard in this world there are so many temptations and I chose drugs as a way to deal with life hurdles and she would be so ashamed of the way I have handled being without her ... Grandma/Mom/Best Friend in life I'm sorry I let you down by doing drugs and living life like I don't care but the truth is I knew that October day when we had to place you in the ground my life was going to be a mess bc I wasn't and still aren't ready for you to be gone .... I love you so much .... Thanks for everything you did for me it was amazing love love love you grandma/mom hopefully when the Lord takes me we will meet in heaven and I can give you a great big hug bc I miss you bunches and bunches ... Love always your son/grandson Jacob McCullough (steffen) now bc I got married to the man I will spend the rest of my life with Mr. Dustin Steffen
